2020 WTF??? Where's your head at?
29/09/20 15:52
2020WTF???? Where’s Your Head at???
Well, it's been a while. The second half of 2019 saw me struggling with life. The word 'much' came to be the one that best described what I was experiencing. Not 'too much', or 'so much', just 'much'. Everything was just MUCH. So towards the end of 2019, I decided to prioritise getting my mental house in order. I contacted my GP, described what I was experiencing and with a diagnosis of moderate depression made a few decisions. First, I set out to find a therapist to help me navigate my way back to a more optimal state of mind. Second, I stepped back from Pilates Therapy and left it in the capable hands of Bonnie, my evil twin and our superstar Maria. Hence, no blogs from me for a while. Here we are, 26 therapy sessions later; a global pandemic; lockdown here in the UK; closure of my studio for six months; all our Pilates Therapy courses moved online and a broken ankle later; and I'm back in the flow of life as we now know it.
Someone got on my vagus nerve. I had been in the process of writing a blog about the vagus nerve back in October of last year. It's a big complicated subject. Having had a preliminary draft shared with someone I didn't know, I was stopped in my tracks by their comments. Unfortunately, rather than help me improve it, they decided not to. I wondered why, if they felt it was so inaccurate, that should it have been published, they would have reported it and had it taken down, would they not help to improve it with their feedback? Let's say, that confused the hell out of me and in my then mental state, was enough for me to drop the whole thing. The irony that the reaction to a blog about the nerve, credited with regulating our fight, flight and freeze response was enough to send me into shut down, is not lost on me. When you are in the dark place of depression, it doesn't take much to shut you down. Thankfully, I have found my way back to the light.
First blog of 2020-Mental Health. I have a list of subjects I would love to blog about relating to Pilates as therapy, but for this first one of 2020, mental health seems like the right place to start. Today we are a global community of humans struggling to meet our most fundamental of human needs, the need for certainty. The one thing few of us have at the moment is any control over our life situation. We all react differently. Some will worry, some will get angry, some will panic, some will deny, some will shut down, and some will get on with life. Living in a global pandemic, this will apply to every client walking into our studios as well as us as Pilates teachers. So, have you checked in with yourself? How are you doing? What is your relationship with the voices in your head? Are you giving yourself and your client's space and permission to be dealing with the shit-show that is 2020 in the most supportive way possible?
WTF can we control? One thing the current situation has made incredibly clear to all of us is that life is not within our power to control. What we can control is our breath, our focus, our thinking. JP said in 10 sessions you would feel the difference, 20 see the difference and 30 be different. The same applies to psychotherapy as after 26 sessions, I am a different person.
Finding the positives. The one significant positive for me has been the way we have all adapted to finding ways to stay connected. I had never heard of Zoom before, and now, it's a part of our lives. I've been fortunate enough to have learned how to assess clients via video calls with Diane Lee which has enabled me to work with clients old and new, to help them through the months of not being able to see people face to face. The belief that 'online' courses were substandard to 'in person' ones has changed. Online courses have enabled many of us to learn from the comfort of our homes. Many of us have found the unexpected quiet time an opportunity to clear out cupboards metaphorically and physically. Some have needed to 'be' while others have gotten busy getting projects finished that had been on their to-do list for ages. There are positives to this crazy time; we need to pay attention to find them.
What do course whores in confinement get up to? - taking courses of course. When "le Confinement" began here in the UK ( I prefer the French phrase for 'Lockdown' as it's a much softer word) we, here at Pilates Therapy, took advantage of the proliferation of courses suddenly transferred online. The first one we took was with Peter Levine of the Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute hosted by Embodied Philosophy. He is one of the world leaders in working with victims of trauma through breath, touch and movement. Sounds a bit like what we do in our Pilates sessions. He was raising awareness that there will be many who are going to suffer from trauma due to the current world situation. If you want to learn more, there are loads of free resources on their website so when you’ve finished reading this, head on over.
It’s Trauma, duh! Therapy revealed that I had unresolved issues with trauma from my childhood, a revelation to me. I thought it was just 'normal' until I heard myself describing it out loud to my therapist. The body can store trauma. I worked through my buried trauma in a somatic way. I let my body lead the way back to balance by revealing what had remained hidden in my cells for decades. Humans are hard-wired to survive, but we don't always have the skills to reset back to a place of balance and peace. When we are under stress, we experience tension; when we are tense, our breath and movement change. We may need to spend a little more time than usual allow clients to centre themselves, check-in with how they are, and to reconnect with their breath before their regular Pilates practice.
Pilates offers our clients the opportunity to reconnect with their bodies, their breath, and to focus their minds. We share the gift time out from what is happening in their lives and this crazy world. For the time they are with us in our classes and studios, we give them space to reconnect with themselves. I wish all of you excellent Pilates teachers and therapists the best of luck for your wellbeing and livelihoods. This storm isn't over yet. Look after your mental as well as physical health. It's like when they take you through the safety briefing on a flight, put on your oxygen mask before helping others. Find what works for you to help you stay grounded and create a self-care routine for your body, mind and spirit. We do this for our clients; we must do the same for ourselves.
We need to remember to be kind to one another. While we may have clients happy to get back into the studio, others will be struggling and may not be so willing to physically share space with others while this virus is still transmitting among us. I am hoping we all can look after each other in the best way possible while realising that some of us will be reacting from a place of fear and mental unrest. Remember to be gentle with yourselves and others. What therapy has taught me while I've worked through my depression is that I am not responsible for the emotions of others, only my own. We cannot control how others are behaving during this weird dystopian time, but we can step back and give them space to 'do them' while we 'do us' and ride the waves until things settle down.
The following can be found on the Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute website:
Signals that the nervous systems are in a state of stress:
SCOPE = a safety aid to stabilise the physiological stress response and helps us cope with a crisis.
All our Pilates Therapy courses are now available online at considerably discounted prices. Check out our website for more information.
If you would like to understand more about the neurobiological principles and practical practice of Somatic Experiencing there is a wealth of resources on their website.
Well, it's been a while. The second half of 2019 saw me struggling with life. The word 'much' came to be the one that best described what I was experiencing. Not 'too much', or 'so much', just 'much'. Everything was just MUCH. So towards the end of 2019, I decided to prioritise getting my mental house in order. I contacted my GP, described what I was experiencing and with a diagnosis of moderate depression made a few decisions. First, I set out to find a therapist to help me navigate my way back to a more optimal state of mind. Second, I stepped back from Pilates Therapy and left it in the capable hands of Bonnie, my evil twin and our superstar Maria. Hence, no blogs from me for a while. Here we are, 26 therapy sessions later; a global pandemic; lockdown here in the UK; closure of my studio for six months; all our Pilates Therapy courses moved online and a broken ankle later; and I'm back in the flow of life as we now know it.
Someone got on my vagus nerve. I had been in the process of writing a blog about the vagus nerve back in October of last year. It's a big complicated subject. Having had a preliminary draft shared with someone I didn't know, I was stopped in my tracks by their comments. Unfortunately, rather than help me improve it, they decided not to. I wondered why, if they felt it was so inaccurate, that should it have been published, they would have reported it and had it taken down, would they not help to improve it with their feedback? Let's say, that confused the hell out of me and in my then mental state, was enough for me to drop the whole thing. The irony that the reaction to a blog about the nerve, credited with regulating our fight, flight and freeze response was enough to send me into shut down, is not lost on me. When you are in the dark place of depression, it doesn't take much to shut you down. Thankfully, I have found my way back to the light.
First blog of 2020-Mental Health. I have a list of subjects I would love to blog about relating to Pilates as therapy, but for this first one of 2020, mental health seems like the right place to start. Today we are a global community of humans struggling to meet our most fundamental of human needs, the need for certainty. The one thing few of us have at the moment is any control over our life situation. We all react differently. Some will worry, some will get angry, some will panic, some will deny, some will shut down, and some will get on with life. Living in a global pandemic, this will apply to every client walking into our studios as well as us as Pilates teachers. So, have you checked in with yourself? How are you doing? What is your relationship with the voices in your head? Are you giving yourself and your client's space and permission to be dealing with the shit-show that is 2020 in the most supportive way possible?
WTF can we control? One thing the current situation has made incredibly clear to all of us is that life is not within our power to control. What we can control is our breath, our focus, our thinking. JP said in 10 sessions you would feel the difference, 20 see the difference and 30 be different. The same applies to psychotherapy as after 26 sessions, I am a different person.
Finding the positives. The one significant positive for me has been the way we have all adapted to finding ways to stay connected. I had never heard of Zoom before, and now, it's a part of our lives. I've been fortunate enough to have learned how to assess clients via video calls with Diane Lee which has enabled me to work with clients old and new, to help them through the months of not being able to see people face to face. The belief that 'online' courses were substandard to 'in person' ones has changed. Online courses have enabled many of us to learn from the comfort of our homes. Many of us have found the unexpected quiet time an opportunity to clear out cupboards metaphorically and physically. Some have needed to 'be' while others have gotten busy getting projects finished that had been on their to-do list for ages. There are positives to this crazy time; we need to pay attention to find them.
What do course whores in confinement get up to? - taking courses of course. When "le Confinement" began here in the UK ( I prefer the French phrase for 'Lockdown' as it's a much softer word) we, here at Pilates Therapy, took advantage of the proliferation of courses suddenly transferred online. The first one we took was with Peter Levine of the Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute hosted by Embodied Philosophy. He is one of the world leaders in working with victims of trauma through breath, touch and movement. Sounds a bit like what we do in our Pilates sessions. He was raising awareness that there will be many who are going to suffer from trauma due to the current world situation. If you want to learn more, there are loads of free resources on their website so when you’ve finished reading this, head on over.
It’s Trauma, duh! Therapy revealed that I had unresolved issues with trauma from my childhood, a revelation to me. I thought it was just 'normal' until I heard myself describing it out loud to my therapist. The body can store trauma. I worked through my buried trauma in a somatic way. I let my body lead the way back to balance by revealing what had remained hidden in my cells for decades. Humans are hard-wired to survive, but we don't always have the skills to reset back to a place of balance and peace. When we are under stress, we experience tension; when we are tense, our breath and movement change. We may need to spend a little more time than usual allow clients to centre themselves, check-in with how they are, and to reconnect with their breath before their regular Pilates practice.
Pilates offers our clients the opportunity to reconnect with their bodies, their breath, and to focus their minds. We share the gift time out from what is happening in their lives and this crazy world. For the time they are with us in our classes and studios, we give them space to reconnect with themselves. I wish all of you excellent Pilates teachers and therapists the best of luck for your wellbeing and livelihoods. This storm isn't over yet. Look after your mental as well as physical health. It's like when they take you through the safety briefing on a flight, put on your oxygen mask before helping others. Find what works for you to help you stay grounded and create a self-care routine for your body, mind and spirit. We do this for our clients; we must do the same for ourselves.
We need to remember to be kind to one another. While we may have clients happy to get back into the studio, others will be struggling and may not be so willing to physically share space with others while this virus is still transmitting among us. I am hoping we all can look after each other in the best way possible while realising that some of us will be reacting from a place of fear and mental unrest. Remember to be gentle with yourselves and others. What therapy has taught me while I've worked through my depression is that I am not responsible for the emotions of others, only my own. We cannot control how others are behaving during this weird dystopian time, but we can step back and give them space to 'do them' while we 'do us' and ride the waves until things settle down.
The following can be found on the Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute website:
Signals that the nervous systems are in a state of stress:
- Heart rate, is it high?
- Breathing, is it shallow?
- Do you want time alone, are you feeling uncomfortable socialising? What is going on in your head?
- Is your inner voice on overdrive, with thoughts bouncing all over the place like you've had way too much caffeine?
- Physical tension - how much are you holding in your body?
- Fatigue despite having slept, or are you having difficulty sleeping?
- Are you talking fast, or for those other New Yorkers like me, more quickly than usual?
- Do you feel numb, or disconnected?
SCOPE = a safety aid to stabilise the physiological stress response and helps us cope with a crisis.
- Slow down - ground yourself by focusing on the sensations in your feet while you walk - or at the start of a pilates session take your awareness into your feet if standing or where your body connects to the ground if you start lying down.
- Connect to your body - hug yourself, cross your legs and let your chin rest on your chest and breathe
- Orient - take a moment to notice what's around you, colours, shapes and focus on something comforting or pleasant and have a micro visual vacation - I've got a beautiful view of my garden outside my studio. Still, a poster of something or somewhere fab could work just as well.
- Pendulate - find somewhere in your body that feels easy and comfortable, then find somewhere you can feel the tension. Shift your focus back and forth between ease, tension, ease … even if its just your little finger or the tip of your nose.
- Engage with others - find someone who can support you - you can be this person for your clients, but you need to find someone who can help you too.
All our Pilates Therapy courses are now available online at considerably discounted prices. Check out our website for more information.
If you would like to understand more about the neurobiological principles and practical practice of Somatic Experiencing there is a wealth of resources on their website.